  
1) Q. I buy sodas for friends at school every morning before class, but am starting to feel like they're using me,
because they never buy one for me. What should I do?
A. It sounds like you are a giving person, and that's a good thing, however we never want to continue putting ourselves in
situations where we are not valued and appreciated. It sounds like your so-called friends are either very selfish people,
or just not real friends at all. In either case you should stop buying them sodas every morning, and wait until they do the
favor for you. Sometimes, in order to see who our true friends are, we have to take a step back and allow them to do nice
things for us for a change.
2) Q. I'm always complimenting my friends on how they look etc., but they rarely compliment me. Most of the
compliments I get come from other classmates I hardly know. What should I do?
A. First of all it's important for you to remember that although it's great to get compliments from other people, we need
to be secure and confident without the validation of others. Unfortunately, we cannot make people give us what we need,
so I'd suggest you simply ask them why they never compliment you. Just be prepared for an answer you may not want
to hear. In the meantime, start working on making their opinions of you less important, but don't change your gracious
attitude towards others. Be happy about the compliments you are getting from other people, you deserve it.
3) Q. One of my teachers told me I'll never do anything positive with my life. I cried all night, and felt like
such a loser afterwards. How can I get those words out of my mind now?
A. Wow! It's unfortunate that teachers are not robots who can be programmed to think and act a certain way, they are
just people like the rest of us. The majority of teachers out there are wonderful, nurturing people- that's why they became
teachers. And most want to see their students be happy and successful, however like any other thing in life we'll encounter
people who are the opposite of being "wonderful and nurturing". I'm sorry you had to endure that, no teacher has the right
to say such an awful thing to any student, regardless of the situation. In either case, talk to your parents or a good friend
about the situation, and remember no one can predict the outcome of your future. That's why God gave us free will to make
our own choices. You are the only person who can decide whether you'll be a success or failure. Write a list of your best
attributes (personality traits or hobbies) and read it often, this will improve your confidence and self esteem. Then just be
the best that you can be, and prove him or her wrong. Look at Oprah, a teacher once told her a similar thing but she
proved them wrong- a million times over.
4) Q. I'm 16 years old, and my boyfriend yells and curses at me a lot. He's very negative, and says hurtful
things about me around our friends. Should I leave him?
A. Yes! How fast can you run? Your boyfriend's behavior is not going to get any better, unless he makes a conscious
choice to change, or seeks counseling with a licensed professional. At present you are dealing with emotional abuse,
but that could quickly turn into physical abuse if not addressed. Remember, people treat us the way we train them to
treat us, so if you allow him to curse at you, it will only continue. I suggest you sit down and have a long talk with him
about it. Let him know this is unacceptable behavior towards you. If he continues, simply move on to more positive
horizions. You deserve better. When people love and care for us, they don't make a habit out of cursing at us,
and belittling us in front of others. Choose to value yourself, more than his abuse.
5) Q. I'm really tired of arguing with my parents. They think they know everything. What can I do to get them
to lay off of me, but improve my relationship with them as well?
A. First, remember that your parents may seem dumb to you at your age, but they are twice your age and maybe some.
They've had more experiences than you have, and may actually know a thing or two about life. At least give them that
much credit. Second, parents will normally back off if they see you being responsible, and following instructions.
Remember, their job as parents is to get you to the stage of being a responsible, mature adult. If you honestly want
things to improve, try using a little reverse psycholog,y and stop arguing with them. Just say "okay" Mom & Dad.
Then watch them start backing off, and giving you more freedom. It's true that you catch more bees with honey! I've
recommended this over the years, and teens always get results. |
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